Posted by Diana Bertoldo | Posted in | Posted on 7:40 PM
One of the greatest challenges in living with illness is finding self acceptance. We read about that struggle, we talk about it, and some of us live it. When we struggle to accept illness we struggle to accept ourselves. And when we don’t accept ourselves our self-love can weaken, crumble, and even disappear altogether. I’ve experienced this myself and I’ve seen it happen for many others. And although it can be a fast and downward spinning cycle, the truth is we are all graced with an inherent ability to recognize and recover ourselves from this destructive pattern.
In my own experience with migraine disease my reaction to the illness was more insidious and destructive than the illness itself—than the physical pain, aura, nausea, and muscle tension that naturally occurred with migraine. I can see that now, but it took me awhile to gain this insight.
I believe that when there is illness in the body our mind, emotions and spirit risk becoming ill as well unless we take action to prevent it. I wish I really understood that years ago. I wish I had spent more time and energy developing the health of my mind, emotions and spirit. I wish I knew then the difference it would make in my relationship to illness. Nonetheless, I am grateful to understand it today. Today I know that I may not be able to control any physical illness my body experiences, but I also know that my mental, emotional and spiritual health IS something that I can support, maintain, and even call upon to help positively influence my body’s ability to heal.
Beware of Secondary Illness
I think of illness as being a two fold challenge that needs proper care in order to yield us the results we truly want. There is the physical illness itself I think of as the initial illness and then there is what I call the secondary illness. The initial illness is the one I will primarily leave up to the medical professionals—my doctors, surgeons, nurses, specialists, etc. The secondary illness is the mental, emotional and spiritual illness that can spread like wild fire if I don’t get to work and keep it in check. The secondary illness is where I get to be in charge, I get to call the shots, I get to find the cure and write my own prescriptions. The secondary illness is always within my control, even when the original illness is not. And the greater my success in keeping this secondary illness at bay, (or wiping it out all together) the more I will be supporting my body’s ability to recover from the initial illness.
For example, when I struggled with migraine disease, I struggled with the initial illness + I developed the mental, emotional and spiritual disharmonies, (the secondary illness) that developed with the way I responded to having my illness. I was literally feeding my secondary illness—the one marked by a lack of self acceptance, and I didn’t even know it.
I put a lot of energy into unknowingly fueling my secondary illness, and my initial illness was not supported in the least by my secondary illness---that’s for sure! I developed a lack of acceptance for my illness, my body, and myself and I kept it alive and growing. I took it even further and developed a lack of acceptance for those who didn’t understand what I was going through, and for doctors who couldn’t help me. Before I knew it, I had such a strong focus on all the things I didn’t accept—all the things I resisted and resented, that I found it almost impossible to find anything I could accept and love about my life--and myself.
My Light Bulb Moment and a Simple Equation that Can Change Your Life if You Let it
Then I was lucky enough to have a light bulb moment (Thank goodness). I realized a very simple truth that I will offer you in the form of an equation as that is the way it came to me. Though I didn’t know it at the time this equation was about to change my life, my relationship with myself, my relationship to illness, and the world around me—all for the better.
Lack of acceptance always = a lack of self acceptance
Lack of self-acceptance always = a lack of self love
Lack of self love always = a life that isn’t worth living
I spent a great deal of time and energy fueling a whole-lot-of-lack in the acceptance department. With that lack of acceptance came a lack of self love, and a life that really wasn’t worth living. I quickly understood that I was never going to discover a way to love what I could not accept—no such way existed. So instead of searching for something that wasn’t possible I started searching for things that were possible.
Me, Myself and Some Unwavering Commitment
It was possible for me to live with acceptance, self acceptance and self-love. The only thing that could ever keep me from those necessary qualities was me—not some virus, not some illness, not some tumor, not some bad hair day, not a lost limb---just ME. I realized it was possible for me to stop banging my head into walls of “what should be” and start embracing “What is.” It was possible for me to learn to love myself unconditionally with or without illness. What I needed most was to remain committed to my goal of self acceptance and self love no matter what. I knew reaching that goal, nurturing that goal, and prioritizing that goal would lead me into a life worth living.
I needed to develop my rising star qualities until they became so strong they were an undeniable part of me. I needed to be more committed to loving myself than to anything that conflicted with that goal. To this day, the greatest challenge I’ve ever faced has been learning to love myself unconditionally. I believe that if ever there was a call to action with illness it is to learn what so many will never learn in their lifetime…to love oneself unconditionally. As it turns out, I have found that some of life’s biggest challenges, (like illness) carry very large gifts along with them. These gifts don’t always come perfectly assembled but they tend to be worth figuring out. I’ve decided that unconditional self love is one of those gifts, and I’m going to milk that gift for all it’s worth. I hope you do too. I truly believe it is the avenue for creating a life worth living. What do you think? I would really love to hear your thoughts.
In my own experience with migraine disease my reaction to the illness was more insidious and destructive than the illness itself—than the physical pain, aura, nausea, and muscle tension that naturally occurred with migraine. I can see that now, but it took me awhile to gain this insight.
I believe that when there is illness in the body our mind, emotions and spirit risk becoming ill as well unless we take action to prevent it. I wish I really understood that years ago. I wish I had spent more time and energy developing the health of my mind, emotions and spirit. I wish I knew then the difference it would make in my relationship to illness. Nonetheless, I am grateful to understand it today. Today I know that I may not be able to control any physical illness my body experiences, but I also know that my mental, emotional and spiritual health IS something that I can support, maintain, and even call upon to help positively influence my body’s ability to heal.
Beware of Secondary Illness
I think of illness as being a two fold challenge that needs proper care in order to yield us the results we truly want. There is the physical illness itself I think of as the initial illness and then there is what I call the secondary illness. The initial illness is the one I will primarily leave up to the medical professionals—my doctors, surgeons, nurses, specialists, etc. The secondary illness is the mental, emotional and spiritual illness that can spread like wild fire if I don’t get to work and keep it in check. The secondary illness is where I get to be in charge, I get to call the shots, I get to find the cure and write my own prescriptions. The secondary illness is always within my control, even when the original illness is not. And the greater my success in keeping this secondary illness at bay, (or wiping it out all together) the more I will be supporting my body’s ability to recover from the initial illness.
For example, when I struggled with migraine disease, I struggled with the initial illness + I developed the mental, emotional and spiritual disharmonies, (the secondary illness) that developed with the way I responded to having my illness. I was literally feeding my secondary illness—the one marked by a lack of self acceptance, and I didn’t even know it.
I put a lot of energy into unknowingly fueling my secondary illness, and my initial illness was not supported in the least by my secondary illness---that’s for sure! I developed a lack of acceptance for my illness, my body, and myself and I kept it alive and growing. I took it even further and developed a lack of acceptance for those who didn’t understand what I was going through, and for doctors who couldn’t help me. Before I knew it, I had such a strong focus on all the things I didn’t accept—all the things I resisted and resented, that I found it almost impossible to find anything I could accept and love about my life--and myself.
My Light Bulb Moment and a Simple Equation that Can Change Your Life if You Let it
Then I was lucky enough to have a light bulb moment (Thank goodness). I realized a very simple truth that I will offer you in the form of an equation as that is the way it came to me. Though I didn’t know it at the time this equation was about to change my life, my relationship with myself, my relationship to illness, and the world around me—all for the better.
Lack of acceptance always = a lack of self acceptance
Lack of self-acceptance always = a lack of self love
Lack of self love always = a life that isn’t worth living
I spent a great deal of time and energy fueling a whole-lot-of-lack in the acceptance department. With that lack of acceptance came a lack of self love, and a life that really wasn’t worth living. I quickly understood that I was never going to discover a way to love what I could not accept—no such way existed. So instead of searching for something that wasn’t possible I started searching for things that were possible.
Me, Myself and Some Unwavering Commitment
It was possible for me to live with acceptance, self acceptance and self-love. The only thing that could ever keep me from those necessary qualities was me—not some virus, not some illness, not some tumor, not some bad hair day, not a lost limb---just ME. I realized it was possible for me to stop banging my head into walls of “what should be” and start embracing “What is.” It was possible for me to learn to love myself unconditionally with or without illness. What I needed most was to remain committed to my goal of self acceptance and self love no matter what. I knew reaching that goal, nurturing that goal, and prioritizing that goal would lead me into a life worth living.
I needed to develop my rising star qualities until they became so strong they were an undeniable part of me. I needed to be more committed to loving myself than to anything that conflicted with that goal. To this day, the greatest challenge I’ve ever faced has been learning to love myself unconditionally. I believe that if ever there was a call to action with illness it is to learn what so many will never learn in their lifetime…to love oneself unconditionally. As it turns out, I have found that some of life’s biggest challenges, (like illness) carry very large gifts along with them. These gifts don’t always come perfectly assembled but they tend to be worth figuring out. I’ve decided that unconditional self love is one of those gifts, and I’m going to milk that gift for all it’s worth. I hope you do too. I truly believe it is the avenue for creating a life worth living. What do you think? I would really love to hear your thoughts.
