Posted by Diana Bertoldo | Posted in | Posted on 11:14 AM
Ask yourself, “Do they need to? In order for me to be happy, whole and complete do the people in my life need to understand my experience with illness?”
When people don’t get it:
Recognize their innocence:
People challenged by illness can feel misunderstood and have an intense desire for others to just “get it!” But how much time, energy, and pain are you investing in needing others to get it? Better yet, what would you be doing with that time and energy if you focused it elsewhere?
Seeing the innocence in others is a great way to relieve you of any added stress and worry that might impede your health and sense of well-being. When we are willing to see their innocence we are willing to educate them about our experience with the intention to create connection. We educate vs. defend. We remain open to the truth that they may not understand, and we detach from needing them to understand in order for us to be happy.
Seeing another’s innocence puts the power back in your own hands. Let go. Allow others their own experience even if it is one of resistance or ignorance. Aren’t we all really searching for permission to be ourselves? So ask yourself, “Can I give others permission to be who they are just as I wish they would give me permission to be who I am?
Share your story without expectation:
As long as your intention is to offer clarity about yourself and your experience with illness you will have success. The success comes from being authentic and true to yourself.
Offering clarity and speaking your truth is within your control. Holding a space for compassion with those who get it and with those who don’t is also within your control. Let go of expecting a certain response from others. Focus on what you can control, and release yourself from the things you cannot. I think you will find that the things you cannot control aren’t worth your time and energy anyway.
Acknowledge their positive aspects:
Okay, so maybe some people in your life don’t get it. But what do they get about you? What do you appreciate about them? Focus on what they DO bring to the table vs. what they don’t. These people who are in your life and not getting it surely must serve some greater purpose for you. Why else would they still be in your life? Focus on their greatness. How do they support you? How do they make you smile? How do they express their love to you? Choose to marinade in their positive aspects.
Stop rejecting, blaming or shaming yourself:
Let’s face it, you didn’t just wake up one day and decide that invisible illness was something that you wanted to invite into your life. When we hide, we reject ourselves first before anyone else can. When we hide, we also assume the worst in others.
“No one will get me.”
“They won’t understand.”
“They’ll think I’m a freak show!”
“People will think I’m weak.”
“They’ll think I’m damaged goods and leave me.”
Illness is nothing to be ashamed of and when we really get that we stop hiding, blaming and shaming ourselves. The only thing illness ever really says about you is that you are human. Well, congratulations—so is everyone else!
When people don’t get it:
Recognize their innocence:
People challenged by illness can feel misunderstood and have an intense desire for others to just “get it!” But how much time, energy, and pain are you investing in needing others to get it? Better yet, what would you be doing with that time and energy if you focused it elsewhere?
Seeing the innocence in others is a great way to relieve you of any added stress and worry that might impede your health and sense of well-being. When we are willing to see their innocence we are willing to educate them about our experience with the intention to create connection. We educate vs. defend. We remain open to the truth that they may not understand, and we detach from needing them to understand in order for us to be happy.
Seeing another’s innocence puts the power back in your own hands. Let go. Allow others their own experience even if it is one of resistance or ignorance. Aren’t we all really searching for permission to be ourselves? So ask yourself, “Can I give others permission to be who they are just as I wish they would give me permission to be who I am?
Share your story without expectation:
As long as your intention is to offer clarity about yourself and your experience with illness you will have success. The success comes from being authentic and true to yourself.
Offering clarity and speaking your truth is within your control. Holding a space for compassion with those who get it and with those who don’t is also within your control. Let go of expecting a certain response from others. Focus on what you can control, and release yourself from the things you cannot. I think you will find that the things you cannot control aren’t worth your time and energy anyway.
Acknowledge their positive aspects:
Okay, so maybe some people in your life don’t get it. But what do they get about you? What do you appreciate about them? Focus on what they DO bring to the table vs. what they don’t. These people who are in your life and not getting it surely must serve some greater purpose for you. Why else would they still be in your life? Focus on their greatness. How do they support you? How do they make you smile? How do they express their love to you? Choose to marinade in their positive aspects.
Stop rejecting, blaming or shaming yourself:
Let’s face it, you didn’t just wake up one day and decide that invisible illness was something that you wanted to invite into your life. When we hide, we reject ourselves first before anyone else can. When we hide, we also assume the worst in others.
“No one will get me.”
“They won’t understand.”
“They’ll think I’m a freak show!”
“People will think I’m weak.”
“They’ll think I’m damaged goods and leave me.”
Illness is nothing to be ashamed of and when we really get that we stop hiding, blaming and shaming ourselves. The only thing illness ever really says about you is that you are human. Well, congratulations—so is everyone else!
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